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Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Noobdom:

Summary: Freak449 is just a noob who can’t remember anything of his past. Lovestruck and naïve, he never expects to become involved in a plot against the powerful and cruel Lord Luxon, who has enslaved noobs like Freak for his own benefit.
Genre: Humor (supposedly)/Adventure
Style: First-person point-of-view, present tense (if anyone cares), novel style
Approximate length in Word: 111 pages (prepare for a long read!)
Who's Posting: Dawn719 and I are posting chapters (I wrote the story, she gave me ideas)
Warning: If you don't like it, don't read! Don't flame, but constructive criticism is welcome.
Disclaimer: "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously."

Chapter # + Page #s
Chapter 1: 1
Chapter 2: 2
Chapter 3: 2-3
Chapter 4: 3
Chapter 5: 3-4
Chapter 6: 4
Chapter 7: 5
Chapter 8: 5-6
Chapter 9: 6-7
Chapter 10: 7
Chapter 11: 7-8
Chapter 12: 8
Chapter 13: 9
Chapter 14: 10
Chapter 15: 10-11
Chapter 16: 12
Chapter 17: 12-13
Chapter 18: 14
Chapter 19: 15-16
Chapter 20: 17-18
Chapter 21: 19
Chapter 22: 19-20
Chapter 23: 23-24
COMPLETE
(The Sequel to Noobdom): Freak the Dragon Slayer
THE SEQUEL'S THREAD: 49-50-248-62090485
Chapter 1: 26-27
Chapter 2: 29-30
Chapter 3: 31-32
Chapter 4: 32-33
Chapter 5: 36
Chapter 6: 40-41
Chapter 7: 45-46
Chapter 8: 57
Chapter 9: 68
Chapter 10: 86

22-Jul-2010 14:20:11 - Last edited on 30-Dec-2010 05:35:18 by Fireheart449

Dawn719

Dawn719

Posts: 111Iron Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 1 Existence
“Hello?”
“Well, hi.” I have failed to notice I had just come into existence. “Who are you? Where am I?” Ooh, I can speak. My memory is terrible. I just remember shooting chickens with wind strike or somethin’ and then…a blank.
“I’m Lady Lore12.”
“You got a number at the end of your name,” I point out.
“Well, duh. You have one, too.”

“What’s my name?” Yes, I don't remember anything! Stop making fun of me. I know you are! Um… I’ll stop now.
"Pretty Flower45.”
“But I’m a guy. Well, I think.” I need a moment to sort out my thoughts. A second later, I harbor no doubt. “Yeah, I’m definitely male. That much I can remember. So, Lady Lore, where are we?”
“I’m kidding about your name, noob.”
“Noob?”
“Yup. You’re a noob, and your name is Freak449.”

“Freak?” In my head, I secretly disparage my name. Did I choose that name? Anyway, I turn to my lady companion. “Where are we?”
“Runescape, darling.”
“I thought my name was Freak.” This lady is starting to bother me. She calls me far too many names for my liking. I mean, sure, Pretty Flower45, noob and Freak449 ain’t so bad but Darling?
Lady Lore gives a great, mournful sigh and then smiles down at me. For the first time, I notice how pretty she is. Freak, get a hold of yourself! Fine, but no guy would fail to notice her sleek, warrior-like form and her bright, red hair. Besides, she has cool green armor. My favorite color is green, but that’s not the point.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I stutter. Caught to be the weirdo I am. She hadn't noticed me staring at her, did she? To take my mind off my pervertedness, I stare at the wooden shield in one hand and the bronze sword in the other. Um, I’m a pacifist. I’m not sure it’s going to work out, what with all this weaponry I’m lugging around. Well, I think I was a pacifist unless I decided to become one all of a sudden. You know, my memory is pitiable. I must keep thinking. Meanwhile, Lady Lore is tapping her toes and giving me an impatient look.

22-Jul-2010 14:22:54 - Last edited on 13-Nov-2010 19:07:07 by Dawn719

Dawn719

Dawn719

Posts: 111Iron Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I decide to bombard her with questions in hopes that I’d learn more about the freakish (haha) world around me.
“Where in Runescape am I? Is it a big place?”
“You’re in Lumbridge, and I guess Runescape’s a big enough place.” Lady Lore suddenly ducks as an arrow flies by to pierce a nearby rat. Her face grows angry, and I follow her gaze to a blond guy in some fancy leather gear. He has pointy things on his clothes…I wonder if they’d hurt if you touched them?
“Wolfbane23, what are you doing here?” Lady Lore does not look pleased. Man, the look on her face is scary. Through the myriad of people in this so-called Lumbridge, I take a closer look at the guy. His sudden switch from studded leather to light blue armor alarms me. I trip over myself and fall into the fountain behind me. It’s a great place to have a fountain…really. I’m not being sarcastic at all.
Good news: Lady Lore is looking at me with concern, erasing the scary look from her face. Bad news: Wolfbane is now interested in me. He stands by Lady Lore and smirks. She moves away and pulls me from my stagnant fountain. I dub it Freak’s Bane. Honestly. Wet and disgruntled, I’m in no mood to deal with this Wolfbane.
The guy gives me the shivers. Or maybe I’m shivering because I’m wet. Evaporation is a cooling process, you know. Oh boy, am I a geek? I don’t rightly remember. Ah, well, until I do…let’s pretend I’m not. Geeks aren’t half bad anyway, but I don’t think I want to admit that in front of Lady Lore.
“Well, Lady Lore, what have we here?”
“He’s a noob, Wolfbane. Leave him alone.” Scary look alert! Lady Lore is glowering at Blondie with the poison of a thousand venoms. OOO, literary language. Hmm. Am I a freak, geek, and poet all wrapped into one neat package? Guess I’ll never know until I find out who I really am.
“You’re level sixty-two, Lore. Don’t hang out with worthless noobs.”

22-Jul-2010 14:24:05

Dawn719

Dawn719

Posts: 111Iron Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“You and your egotistical garbage can go jump into the Karamja Volcano!” Lady Lore snaps. “Ever since you reached level sixty-five, you've been acting like a jerk. Being a player killer isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!”
“It’s everything, Lore.” Is that affection in Wolfbane’s voice? Ew to the thousandth power. NO, I’ve never liked math. “How can you hate me? I saved you. Remember…we were in level forty wilderness. A demon came after you. Who saved you, Lore?”
“You did.” It looks as if Lady Lore owed Wolfbane big time. Though, I can’t understand half of what they were talking about. Lady Lore glances at me. “Freak, the wilderness is a terrible area where people can kill others. There are also a lot of dangerous creatures out there. For now, I suggest you train on some chickens.”
“I’ll bring him to the wilderness and train him my style if you want.” Wolfbane laughs. Well, no thank you, sir. I don’t mind being killed though I don’t know who I am and have existed for about twenty seconds…and I loathe Wolfbane. I hate every inch of his pretty (ooh, shiny) armor and his blonde hair (very stylish). I hate him for taking my Lady Lore. Um, I mean being mean to Lady Lore. Kind of.
“I don’t think-” I start to say.
*Think?” Wolfbane interrupts. *What noob thinks? All they do is run into walls and die.” Oh, geez. I’ve never run into a wall. Of course, I haven’t moved from the spot I was called into existence on. There’s a wall a few meters in front of me, but I don’t think I’d crash into it. I’m not that clumsy.
“Leave,” Lady Lore demands. “I need to take Freak449 to the chickens.”

“Okay. Have fun.” Blondie leaves, and I rejoice. I keep my smile to a minimum lest Lady Lore think of more names to call me.
“To the chickens?” For me, the world is a wonderful place as long as Lady Lore is there. She seems so wise and beautiful…and I just stop myself from rambling.
“To the chickens,” she agrees with a beautiful laugh. Gulp. I’m a noob in love.
~End of Chapter 1~

22-Jul-2010 14:25:24

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Another note: Time has passed since Noobdom has been written, so Dungeoneering/the changes in the wilderness/changes to keep noobs safe (like the black wizards and jail guards who no longer attack automatically) aren't included. Oh well.
Read and review!

24-Jul-2010 00:58:59 - Last edited on 25-Aug-2010 00:30:54 by Fireheart449

[#SKZPQMZTB]

[#SKZPQMZTB]

Posts: 2,029Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I like your style of writing, it reminds me of a guy names Pseudolonewolf... have you heard of him?
Anyway, like the story so far. Think it's going to be very interesting if he needs 111 pages on word just to woo the lady. Gonna check in for the next chapters for sure. ^^

31-Jul-2010 19:44:44

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Yay, two reviews! I've never heard of Pseudolonewolf, but I am new to the forums. As for Freak wooing the lady...well, you'll just have to wait and see how that turns out (and it won't turn out the way you expected, I promise you).
Anyway, here's the next chapter!

03-Aug-2010 01:05:18

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