Mate, you typed this because you genuinely don't want to leave the community. We've all lost people ( I say people instead of characters, because it is obvious that your character meant more to you than text on a screen.)
I believe it's in your best interest to build a new character, develop a new person. Take what made your former character and place those aspects into a new one. I don't really know you that well, but I advise that you come back.