This boat should be done!

Quick find code: 15-16-266-66107428

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Mar Gold Premier Club Member 2015


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Yak Suit said:
How can they not have built the boat at the digsite, the workmen have been working on it for like what, 10 years or something?
millenial generation of workers.

25-Jun-2019 02:42:18

Lord Drakan
Sep Member 2010

Lord Drakan

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Dear Mr Fuzzles19,

Hmm, a pertinent question, and one I've asked myself a number of times since the project began. The foreman has given me the up-to-date list of setbacks so far:

* Version 1.0 of the barge had some serious design flaws (it didn't float).
*Version 2.0 suffered from 'feature creep'. Senior museum staff stuck their oar in (ho-hum) and added unnecessary features: 'go-faster stripes', a portable fossil centrifuge and a walk-on mini-museum. Needless to say, it had buoyancy issues.
* Version 3.0 used a special sealant that attracted sea monsters.
* Version 4.0 used a special sealant that attracted icebergs.
* Version 5.0 crashed into Version 6.0.
* We lost Version 7.0.
* Version 8.0 is still here, we think. But, thanks to an accident involving a magical explosion and some talking anchovies, it now resides 12 seconds out of phase.
* Version 9.0 was built with magic logs and gained some form of rudimentary sentience. It developed serious depression and ran itself aground near Crandor.

I tell you, I'd almost forgotten that there was even an island to go to! There must have been some reason to explore it, but, whatever that reason was, I can no longer remember. All I can think of is that blasted barge.

Haig Halen
Varrock Museum Curator
Bizarre Boron Fusswell, scryer extraordinaire. Minigames & ninja fixes & achievement ideas!

Perhaps you're half right; perhaps we can't win. But we can fight.
— Zanik

25-Jun-2019 09:46:20



Posts: 28,780Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
We could probably guess that:
Other rather strange but runescape type disasters
They got wood that was untreated or infested with something. and whenever they made progress, the damaged areas had to be removed along with surrounding area, and then rebuilt. the repeat the process.
They bought wood that had an auto-alchemy or auto-destroy feature.
Someone bought wood that followed the rules of item degrading to nothing (few minutes after you drop it, it disappears)
The boat builders were part of a long con. They were a group of thieves trying to 1) scam money like the irl mafia by pretending to do work, 2) steal as much logs/lumber as they can over a long period of time

25-Jun-2019 12:13:09

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